Conflicts are part of life. Hindu mythology has one chapter of “Samundra Manthon”. It says to achieve Laxmi , you have to go through conflicts. They are not easy. Sometimes, it is emotional war with self. It may be with your loved one. No family or team is ideal. Goody -2 team works in management books not in real world.
Conflicts are good and should be used for innovation. We mostly defuse conflicts for peace of team or family. Defusing them leads to bigger emotional burden. Delay leads to accumulation of emotional scar. It may lead to depression.
Power people bull the idea/the person. That is how nature work. Lion use power to survive. Unbalanced teams lead to disaster in long run. Samundra Manthon is necessary to get Laxmi. You will get poison too in this process. But be brave. Conflicts can be creative too. They are basis to drive innovation. Challenge everything around you. Innovation won't be possible without CONFLICTS.
- Vulnerability is first key in conflict. Many times people overreact or underreact in conflict situation. People wear marks and hardly tell their true feeling. Over reactive people wants to gain by crying. Under-reactive people wants to defuse issue. Show anger, tears, cries as you are feeling , if you want true resolution. Tell them where and how much you are hurt. Vulnerability is about being true to self. Telling others that you are hurt. Show emotions. No harm in showing weakness. No one is perfect.
- Second innovation trick is Be curious. During conflict people become rigid. They fight for power and show off. They forget laxmi (result). Be open to ideas. There are solutions to every problem. Being rigid won't help. We perceive situation and people too hard. That is not good. Be open to ideas. Be empathic with others. Solution will come through them.
- Third trick is laxmi. Keep eye on result. If conflict is not going to give anything in end, better to ignore. Don't get in that conflict which in end leave only loosers. Arjun wanted to quit in bhagwat GEETA but Lord Krisnha insisted him as result was big. TRUTH and Justice have to win. Peace loving people don't want conflicts or war, But many times they have to take stand. See Laxmi at end of the conflict. Choose your conflicts with care. It will take time and emotional energy.